Essential Spa (Elgin) - Essential Deep Cleansing Facial Treatment ★★☆☆☆

The Spur: My skin my skinnn... one facialist says my breakouts are not due to dirt but something internal, like diet or stress or hormones. OK. Anyway, fix it.

The Sticker: I have had two facials here. The first one was very good (G.M. Collin Water Radiance Facial Treatment $420), but I will only comment on my latest experience - Sothys Essential Deep Cleansing Facial Treatment ($420, 60 minutes). I had tried to get a last-minute appointment on a Saturday, and they were full. But they called me back when there was a cancellation, and asked if I had a preferred therapist - if not, "will [available therapist's name] be OK?" I should have taken that as a bad sign.

The Goods and The Atmo: The best thing about Essential Spa in Mid-Levels is location. The two small shops there are on the ground level, so very visible, always tempting you as you walk by, always on your mind. At least my mind. I've only been to the Elgin branch so can only comment about that one. There are two floors: the ground floor is the mani-pedi area, and upstairs is treatment rooms and the changing room. The ground floor is pretty and tidy with a mildly Asian design, wood floors, clean and neat manicure stations. Comparatively, the upstairs is a disappointment. It feels dingy and old. The cramped changing room has lockers, a sauna, two showers and a toilet. It doesn't even have hair dryers or other basic amenities. The provided robes and towels are thin and worn, which I hate, and it's one thing I complained about when asked by the staff if there's anything that could use improvement (I didn't want to say they could use a renovation). This always makes me do the math and wonder if the nice facilities at hotel spas are worth the doubled price tag. (Yes?) ★★☆☆☆

Treat Me! The reception staff is very courteous and friendly here, but more on that later. I was ushered into the dingy changing room where I undressed entirely, put on the robe, and walked out to meet the therapist. Her first comment was that it's not necessary to undress everything, since it's "just a facial." Uh, noted. She also confirmed with the manager that her lunch break was right after this treatment. Great. She sounded rushed already. The treatment rooms are spartan, not zen at all, and the towels on the table are equally horrible as the ones in the lockers. This therapist was just about the worst person to give a facial. Seriously. She obviously had a cold, since she was snorting like crazy. I understand that it sucks when you have to work and your nose is running. I have a sensitive nose and this happens to me all the time. But this was very annoying, or gross, depending on how anal you are about hygiene. So snorting therapist, never relaxing. Then the facial. OMG, everything was just slapped on and wiped off without any consideration. Loathe. Then. The absolute worst part about this facial. The "extractions." The thing about popping zits and squeezing blackheads is if you do it, do it all the way. Just half-assing is about the worst thing you could do to aggravate it. I felt the pain, but there were some unsuccessful spots that she just let go, which I wasn't surprised about when I looked in the mirror. I could tell just from her shit attitude. Also, I definitely had some blemishes that weren't ready (er, advance enough?) to be extracted, and she went ahead anyway. Of course, now my skin is worse. ★☆☆☆☆

The Service: There's something special about Essential Spa, which is their pushiness in selling packages. I have a friend who stopped going here because she couldn't take it. Anyway, it's interesting. I had told then that I was interested in buying a package after the first facial I got here, but had to think about it more. Then as I was paying for this treatment, the receptionist/manager tried to sell me. I was really considering it (what was I thinking?), but kept declining. The interesting thing is, after each decline, she would throw in something more for the same price. The offer just got better and better. After about three declines, she offered a few trial treatments at really cheap prices, which I will try. Just remember, ask for trial prices if you decide to come here, and play hard to get. It works so much better here than it does with men. ★★★☆☆

aquaeria - Express Pedicure ★★★★★

The Spur: I'm not much of a nail person. I've never done gel nails. Never jumped on the rhinestone bandwagon. Never even tried glitter or anything beyond polish. I hardly ever get manicures but still go for the occasional pedicure to lift my spirits. This time, I'd waited long enough for my feet to become downright unsightly. My cotton candy pink polish only covered the outer half of my nails. One of my nails is half gone from an "injury" I sustained from a previous botched pedicure at Bliss spa a full year ago. I know I should just see a doctor. I'll get to it someday. But it just seems so minor for medical attention. It's like the time I wanted to see a doctor for an infected hangnail but thankfully didn't after getting ridiculed by my coworker (just have Dettol cream ready and pop the pus out - ew - once the pressure gets so bad it wakes you up at night). But more pressingly, one of my big toes is suffering from what is termed "tennis toe" (yes I did get it from tennis), with an uneven bruise under the nail that looks like a dark purple continent on a map. I had to get it covered up with a good polish since Hong Kong's eight-month long sandal season has officially begun.

The Sticker: I tried to walk-in to Essential Spa, which was full (both the Soho and Central locations), and, dejected, I started to walk home, passing by aquaeria. It's literally 20 feet from my apartment building but I've never been there. The Express Pedicure at $200 is a doable price (lasting approximately 45 minutes). But this place specializes in Japanese nail art, and those things aren't cheap. Even the spa pedicure is shockingly over $600.

The Atmo and the Goods: If I were to open a nail salon, this is exactly what I'd want it to look like: bright and airy, high ceilings, slightly shabby chic, white paint on uneven plaster, moody photographs on one wall, a small patio, Moon River playing on the speakers, muted color scheme with hot pink accents, a small connected clothing shop that sells some painfully gorgeous accessories, three manicure stations, three professional pedicure chairs that slide forward and backward on tracks, small TV monitors at each chair, rattan baskets to throw all your stuff in. ★★★★★

The Service: This place calls itself a Japanese style nail and beauty salon. The manicurists are Japanese, and the one other customer in there at the time was also Japanese. So I guess it's appropriate (or inappropriate?) that having a toe bruise always makes me think of that scene in Lost in Translation where Bill Murray makes fun of Scarlett Johansson's "black toe" and suggests that the Japanese might have that on the sushi menu. Anyway. The hospitality here is truly awesome and "very Japanese," as Bill might say. The receptionists and assistants are friendly and genuine, my technician was sweet as can be and a perfectionist - a trait that's always desired at the spa. I initially wanted a light pink polish but was talked out of it because the ones I liked wouldn't cover my bruise. As all the staff helped me decide from the rows of fake nails on the color card, I chose an opaque Essie color that's exactly Tiffany blue (don't know what the official name is). Then, they brought me a small tray with a pot of tea, a teacup and two cookies. This little gesture made my day. ★★★★★

Treat Me! The pedicure was basic, since it was "express," which is exactly what I wanted. No frills. Just perfectly applied color to make my feet look good. There was a soapy foot soak, followed by cut (no cuticle work with the express version), base coat, two coats of polish, top coat and quick-dry coat. There was kind of a Japanese feel to the whole thing, such as the use of pointy wooden sticks to clean up little mistakes and an overall unrushed process. The atmosphere really made the visit relaxing and enjoyable though. ★★★★☆

Murad (Lane Crawford Faces) - Birthday Facial - mini review ★☆☆☆☆

The Spur: I am a Murad Acne Complex loyalist, since their products really have changed my skin for the past few years. And for that, I am rewarded with a phone call from the Murad counter at Lane Crawford's Faces, with an offer of a free facial near my birthday. No strings attached? It's the first thing I wonder. I hate pushy salespeople and am wary of something like a free facial being a platform for them to sell sell sell. But I was zen in my resolve to not feel bad about saying no.

The Goods: Lane Crawford's Faces in TST is nowhere near where I live or work, but I'm always up for a free facial, so I made the trip there after work. I've always wondered what their facial rooms look like. Well, it's basically a small back room with white walls, a sink, a mirror and a narrow foldout cot covered in a layer of towels. I had to take my top off and cover myself with towels, and the facialist kept telling me it's freezing in there so I should use more towels. She was right.

The Sticker: She told me this 30-minute facial is for replenishing moisture. I wouldn't pay for a facial here. It's normally $480 for a 60-minute facial, which is exorbitant.

The Atmo: Obviously, you don't get the spa ambiance. Actually, the ambiance here is so bad (hello, freezing back room in a mall), I don't understand why anyone would come here - just because they use Murad products? For this price, I can easily find a real spa that uses the same or better products.

Treat Me! But also, the facial itself was very sloppy. Everything kept dripping down my neck. The facialist did not seem very experienced. The treatment involved normal facial procedures of cleansing, toning, scrubbing, mask, moisturizing. Then afterwards, I tried to do my makeup as fast as possible but still got kicked out of the room. The only good thing was, to my surprise, there was no product push at all.

Overall: ★☆☆☆☆

But I did console myself by going to the Nars counter to buy makeup. I want a Nars makeover!