Dream Nail - Pedicure ★★☆☆☆

The Spur: My toes need serious help, what with the bruises and injuries and all. I would ideally get a pedicure once every two weeks, but funds and time constraints lead me to only go about once a month. Anyway I had heard a long time ago that one of the nail places in TST's Silvercord mall is 40% off on weekdays before 5pm, or something. So I was in the area and decided to check it out.

The Sticker: Well, they said there's no discount, but no matter, I thought I'd give it a try anyway. $180 for a regular pedicure is a good price.

The Atmo and The Goods: The place isn't particularly pleasant - it's what you get for a pedicure in a mall. Kind of small, messy, the girls chatting, TVs playing some local movie. There were two other customers during my visit, and they were both getting gel nails. ★★☆☆☆

The Service: Thing is, pedicures make me nervous. I know they are supposed to be relaxing, but all the blades involved... think about it. Because of this, I prefer to get an older, more experienced lady doing my pedicure. Well, everyone at Dream Nail is young and quite rude, attitudes in line with their age and level of interest in an actual nail career. So anyway, I told the girl I need a very opaque polish to cover the bruise under my big toe. Now this is indicative of how disorganized the place is: I chose four polishes on the color board, and they were unable to find any of them. I chose two more, still no success. Finally, they found me a light pink polish that's opaque (OPI's P-inking of You). This color is perfect for me and I think I might even buy it for touch-ups or to bring to future pedicures. ★★☆☆☆

Treat Me! Scrape scrape scrape, cut cut cut, it makes me nervous! She was forcefully digging all around my nail removing dead skin and cuticle and whatnot. At once point, I actually pulled my foot back in pain and said ouch. Alarmingly, the girl said "oh sorry!" The problem with this is, as all service professionals know, it's not cool to say "sorry," but rather something like "yeah it's gonna hurt a little" or "your feet need a lot of work" to alleviate worry and deflect responsibility. So her quick apology made me more nervous. I totally thought I was bleeding, but turns out not quite. I was so worried about this girl cutting me, I specifically asked her not to use the foot razor (it's a razor for the bottom of your feet that shaves off dead skin - illegal in many US states). Anyway, everything else went OK, it's just while trying to put my sandal back on, she touched the problematic toe with the bruise and had to redo it. Then messed up again, and redid it again. This took an additional 30 minutes. It's unfortunate but I know these things happen. That nail was not given enough time to dry and got smudged later, but I'm not gonna be anal about it. ★★☆☆☆

Pedicure hygiene is just not very good in Hong Kong, compared to the US, as far as I know. At Dream Nail, the sudsy soaking water had a definite smell of disinfectant, which I like. It just seems a lot more hygienic. But I noticed after each use of the instruments, she just wiped them and put them back in her kit. That's pretty gross. I don't think I'll come here, or any other cheap place, again. I just think it's not worth getting a fungus or something, which would be more money and annoyance. Sorry to be explicitly gross!

MTM Spa - BodyFul Swift Revival ★★★★★

The Spur: Simply put, I visited MTM Spa because I had a 50% off coupon that expired on this day. Not many people in Hong Kong even know what MTM is. It's quite a large Japanese cosmetics brand, yet its brand awareness is just crap. So for a little background: it specializes in high-tech "custom-blended skincare," which, frankly, is just confusing to the average consumer. Yes, I believe you can get creams custom-created for your skin, but many of their products, such as the ones they use at the spa, say "custom-blended" but were obviously not created specifically for the customer. But whatever. The spa is just glorious.

The Sticker: In line with their theme of customization, a questionnaire was presented before me so that the staff may help me choose the most suitable treatment. See, you can't look at the spa menu beforehand online or physically. It's all a big secret. So that they can sell you, of course. Well, I said flat out that I just want a massage around 60-minutes and pointed to the cheapest ones in the brochure. The girl, having initially suggested I get something more expensive, caught my drift, and to my surprise, pointed out one treatment that's by far the best deal. It is the BodyFul Swift Revival (75 minutes, $980). It involves a full-body massage, followed by a moisture mask (on the face), during which a Japanese foot massage is applied. As a comparison, the regular 60-minute massages are $975, so for just $5, you get 15 minutes more treatment. Seriously this is a gem in that big brochure of overpriced bliss, and glancing down the price list, it clearly doesn't belong. The girl later told me that this treatment is so cheap because they stuck it in during the financial tsunami (she initially just said "tsunami" and I took pause, thinking what's the 2005 tsunami got to do with Hong Kong spas?), although I take everything salespeople utter with a huge grain of salt.

The Atmo: The location on busy Yun Ping Road in Causeway Bay is a bit unusual but convenient. They say the design is award-winning, and it is quite cool. It is a lot of white, some really modern light fixtures, a kind of chain mail curtain, a very high ceiling in the lobby, minimalistic, techy-calm, the iPod of spas. When I arrived I was greeted heartily - but the environment manages to remain hushed at all times. ★★★★★

The Goods: I was led upstairs to the changing area and instructed to take a shower first. The changing area is small but beautiful and immaculate. This is when the Japaneseness of the place shines. Everything is a bit small but makes perfect sense. There are plenty of amenities in front of the mirror, including MTM products, a tiny hidden box of makeup, even contact lens cases, and a woefully small and weak hair dryer. There's no sauna or anything hydro except the showers, but the showers are beautifully tiled with mosaic glass in shades of green and again, smaller than usual but perfectly functional. ★★★★☆

The Service: The staff are extremely eager and professional. The cleaning ladies play an integral part in the overall service. They are the ones who attend to the customer's every need in the changing rooms with huge smiles. Before changing into an alarmingly small robe, a little drawstring bag was provided specifically to store my underthings. I am reminded to wash my face since I will be getting the mask done. The attendant took me to the shower, made sure I had the face wash and provided a little basket of neatly-arranged amenities, such as shower cap, disposable underwear, pantyliner - very considerate. Interestingly, there is a little electric wire of some sort in the corner of the sliding shower door. I realized it makes a faint buzzing sound when the door is open, and someone is standing in the shower's drying-off section, which alerts the attendants somewhere that someone is exiting the shower. Wow. ★★★★★

Treat Me! The masseuse was just as friendly as everyone else. I must say also that this was probably the best massage I've ever had. It's not like at some spas where the same people give massages and facials (and manicures!). They have separate masseuses and facialists here. She was really good, just extremely professional, doing every right to keep the customer at ease. Before she started, she reminded me that the whole point is to relax. It's easy to forget to relax sometimes! The staff here also communicate really well, because the salesgirl had told her my preference for lighter pressure - and she continuously made adjustments until I thought it was just right (which turned out to be not light at all). There were also nice little touches that I noticed, such as when she covered my eyes when I was face up, it was with a nice eye pillow, not a towel or pieces of damp cotton. After the treatment, it was shower time again, when the masseuse suggested I use the moisturizer afterwards, and grabbed it and stuck it in my shower. Amazing service here, truly. Then there's dessert on a tray (sesame pudding, but I saw another customer get served something else) with ginger tea and warm water. Yes, it's pricey here without the fancy steam rooms and jacuzzis, but it feels worth it in the end. ★★★★★

Lastly, the sell. They sell really hard here. The tactic is to have you sitting down at all times in the lobby area, so you can't just slowly inch toward the door. They do have trial prices for first-timers. Highly recommended.

Essential Spa (Elgin) - Essential Deep Cleansing Facial Treatment ★★☆☆☆

The Spur: My skin my skinnn... one facialist says my breakouts are not due to dirt but something internal, like diet or stress or hormones. OK. Anyway, fix it.

The Sticker: I have had two facials here. The first one was very good (G.M. Collin Water Radiance Facial Treatment $420), but I will only comment on my latest experience - Sothys Essential Deep Cleansing Facial Treatment ($420, 60 minutes). I had tried to get a last-minute appointment on a Saturday, and they were full. But they called me back when there was a cancellation, and asked if I had a preferred therapist - if not, "will [available therapist's name] be OK?" I should have taken that as a bad sign.

The Goods and The Atmo: The best thing about Essential Spa in Mid-Levels is location. The two small shops there are on the ground level, so very visible, always tempting you as you walk by, always on your mind. At least my mind. I've only been to the Elgin branch so can only comment about that one. There are two floors: the ground floor is the mani-pedi area, and upstairs is treatment rooms and the changing room. The ground floor is pretty and tidy with a mildly Asian design, wood floors, clean and neat manicure stations. Comparatively, the upstairs is a disappointment. It feels dingy and old. The cramped changing room has lockers, a sauna, two showers and a toilet. It doesn't even have hair dryers or other basic amenities. The provided robes and towels are thin and worn, which I hate, and it's one thing I complained about when asked by the staff if there's anything that could use improvement (I didn't want to say they could use a renovation). This always makes me do the math and wonder if the nice facilities at hotel spas are worth the doubled price tag. (Yes?) ★★☆☆☆

Treat Me! The reception staff is very courteous and friendly here, but more on that later. I was ushered into the dingy changing room where I undressed entirely, put on the robe, and walked out to meet the therapist. Her first comment was that it's not necessary to undress everything, since it's "just a facial." Uh, noted. She also confirmed with the manager that her lunch break was right after this treatment. Great. She sounded rushed already. The treatment rooms are spartan, not zen at all, and the towels on the table are equally horrible as the ones in the lockers. This therapist was just about the worst person to give a facial. Seriously. She obviously had a cold, since she was snorting like crazy. I understand that it sucks when you have to work and your nose is running. I have a sensitive nose and this happens to me all the time. But this was very annoying, or gross, depending on how anal you are about hygiene. So snorting therapist, never relaxing. Then the facial. OMG, everything was just slapped on and wiped off without any consideration. Loathe. Then. The absolute worst part about this facial. The "extractions." The thing about popping zits and squeezing blackheads is if you do it, do it all the way. Just half-assing is about the worst thing you could do to aggravate it. I felt the pain, but there were some unsuccessful spots that she just let go, which I wasn't surprised about when I looked in the mirror. I could tell just from her shit attitude. Also, I definitely had some blemishes that weren't ready (er, advance enough?) to be extracted, and she went ahead anyway. Of course, now my skin is worse. ★☆☆☆☆

The Service: There's something special about Essential Spa, which is their pushiness in selling packages. I have a friend who stopped going here because she couldn't take it. Anyway, it's interesting. I had told then that I was interested in buying a package after the first facial I got here, but had to think about it more. Then as I was paying for this treatment, the receptionist/manager tried to sell me. I was really considering it (what was I thinking?), but kept declining. The interesting thing is, after each decline, she would throw in something more for the same price. The offer just got better and better. After about three declines, she offered a few trial treatments at really cheap prices, which I will try. Just remember, ask for trial prices if you decide to come here, and play hard to get. It works so much better here than it does with men. ★★★☆☆

aquaeria - Express Pedicure ★★★★★

The Spur: I'm not much of a nail person. I've never done gel nails. Never jumped on the rhinestone bandwagon. Never even tried glitter or anything beyond polish. I hardly ever get manicures but still go for the occasional pedicure to lift my spirits. This time, I'd waited long enough for my feet to become downright unsightly. My cotton candy pink polish only covered the outer half of my nails. One of my nails is half gone from an "injury" I sustained from a previous botched pedicure at Bliss spa a full year ago. I know I should just see a doctor. I'll get to it someday. But it just seems so minor for medical attention. It's like the time I wanted to see a doctor for an infected hangnail but thankfully didn't after getting ridiculed by my coworker (just have Dettol cream ready and pop the pus out - ew - once the pressure gets so bad it wakes you up at night). But more pressingly, one of my big toes is suffering from what is termed "tennis toe" (yes I did get it from tennis), with an uneven bruise under the nail that looks like a dark purple continent on a map. I had to get it covered up with a good polish since Hong Kong's eight-month long sandal season has officially begun.

The Sticker: I tried to walk-in to Essential Spa, which was full (both the Soho and Central locations), and, dejected, I started to walk home, passing by aquaeria. It's literally 20 feet from my apartment building but I've never been there. The Express Pedicure at $200 is a doable price (lasting approximately 45 minutes). But this place specializes in Japanese nail art, and those things aren't cheap. Even the spa pedicure is shockingly over $600.

The Atmo and the Goods: If I were to open a nail salon, this is exactly what I'd want it to look like: bright and airy, high ceilings, slightly shabby chic, white paint on uneven plaster, moody photographs on one wall, a small patio, Moon River playing on the speakers, muted color scheme with hot pink accents, a small connected clothing shop that sells some painfully gorgeous accessories, three manicure stations, three professional pedicure chairs that slide forward and backward on tracks, small TV monitors at each chair, rattan baskets to throw all your stuff in. ★★★★★

The Service: This place calls itself a Japanese style nail and beauty salon. The manicurists are Japanese, and the one other customer in there at the time was also Japanese. So I guess it's appropriate (or inappropriate?) that having a toe bruise always makes me think of that scene in Lost in Translation where Bill Murray makes fun of Scarlett Johansson's "black toe" and suggests that the Japanese might have that on the sushi menu. Anyway. The hospitality here is truly awesome and "very Japanese," as Bill might say. The receptionists and assistants are friendly and genuine, my technician was sweet as can be and a perfectionist - a trait that's always desired at the spa. I initially wanted a light pink polish but was talked out of it because the ones I liked wouldn't cover my bruise. As all the staff helped me decide from the rows of fake nails on the color card, I chose an opaque Essie color that's exactly Tiffany blue (don't know what the official name is). Then, they brought me a small tray with a pot of tea, a teacup and two cookies. This little gesture made my day. ★★★★★

Treat Me! The pedicure was basic, since it was "express," which is exactly what I wanted. No frills. Just perfectly applied color to make my feet look good. There was a soapy foot soak, followed by cut (no cuticle work with the express version), base coat, two coats of polish, top coat and quick-dry coat. There was kind of a Japanese feel to the whole thing, such as the use of pointy wooden sticks to clean up little mistakes and an overall unrushed process. The atmosphere really made the visit relaxing and enjoyable though. ★★★★☆

Murad (Lane Crawford Faces) - Birthday Facial - mini review ★☆☆☆☆

The Spur: I am a Murad Acne Complex loyalist, since their products really have changed my skin for the past few years. And for that, I am rewarded with a phone call from the Murad counter at Lane Crawford's Faces, with an offer of a free facial near my birthday. No strings attached? It's the first thing I wonder. I hate pushy salespeople and am wary of something like a free facial being a platform for them to sell sell sell. But I was zen in my resolve to not feel bad about saying no.

The Goods: Lane Crawford's Faces in TST is nowhere near where I live or work, but I'm always up for a free facial, so I made the trip there after work. I've always wondered what their facial rooms look like. Well, it's basically a small back room with white walls, a sink, a mirror and a narrow foldout cot covered in a layer of towels. I had to take my top off and cover myself with towels, and the facialist kept telling me it's freezing in there so I should use more towels. She was right.

The Sticker: She told me this 30-minute facial is for replenishing moisture. I wouldn't pay for a facial here. It's normally $480 for a 60-minute facial, which is exorbitant.

The Atmo: Obviously, you don't get the spa ambiance. Actually, the ambiance here is so bad (hello, freezing back room in a mall), I don't understand why anyone would come here - just because they use Murad products? For this price, I can easily find a real spa that uses the same or better products.

Treat Me! But also, the facial itself was very sloppy. Everything kept dripping down my neck. The facialist did not seem very experienced. The treatment involved normal facial procedures of cleansing, toning, scrubbing, mask, moisturizing. Then afterwards, I tried to do my makeup as fast as possible but still got kicked out of the room. The only good thing was, to my surprise, there was no product push at all.

Overall: ★☆☆☆☆

But I did console myself by going to the Nars counter to buy makeup. I want a Nars makeover!

Landmark Mandarin - Oriental Spa - Aromatherapy Massage ★★☆☆☆

The Spur: I had to take a written exam in February for my grad school application and had been studying like mad for about three months. And I think I broke my own record for stress level, since this was accompanied by one of the worst times I've had at work. When the exam day came, I sat the 2.5-hour test, hopped on a minibus, and mentally and physically collapsed into the arms of the Oriental Spa. Coincidentally, the previously mentioned sexy-smart asshole I'd been seeing was to arrive home that night after a week-long vacation overseas. At this time, delusional, I couldn't think of anything better than killing three hours at the spa before welcoming him home smelling of cedar wood. Ah, the days of optimism.

The Sticker: I chose the 60-minute aromatherapy massage ($900 on weekends, $850 on weekdays, +10% service charge, 20% discount with HSBC card as far as I know), which is a basic full-body oil massage.

The Service: I had been to the Oriental Spa a couple of times. While I love this hotel for its location and boutique-style design, the service tends to be spotty. This time, I just walked-in around 7PM for a 60-minute treatment, and the receptionist seemed really agitated by it. She checked the computer, brow furrowed, and told me she could fit me in. Then I felt rushed to flip through the spa menu to decide on a massage as she watched with bated breath. I walked up the stairs to the spa level and sat down on the benches where they take your shoes hostage. Literally. They take your shoes and give you slippers before you can enter the spa. They call this a foot ritual, which is a load of crap. It's not so you can leave the outside world away or feel like you've entered an Asian home, as they say. It's so you can't spa and dash. They gave me what must be size large plastic slippers for my size 6 feet and apologized that they were out of smaller ones. Then I had to wait around for quite a while, maybe 5-10 minutes, before being escorted into the spa. This wait SUCKS - and this seems to occur every single time I come here. It's not like I came to the spa to read the International Herald Tribune in my purse. Spa and current affairs don't mix. More on the service below. ★☆☆☆☆

The Atmo: OMG I'm never going to this spa on a Saturday evening again. There were around 10 people in the changing area, some talking really loudly. They weren't exactly "in the zone" - more like the steam had been spiked? But overall, despite the crowd this spa does have a calming, modern Asian vibe and ample space to fit all of us. ★★★☆☆

The Goods: I didn't have much time before the treatment started, so I headed straight to the steam room after undressing. Truth be told, the Oriental Spa has some of the nicest hydrotherapy facilities in Hong Kong. The steam room is shaped all round and cave-like with iridescent tiling and, notably, a huge amethyst crystal that's supposed to be healing. The experience showers are a riot, emitting scents and colors which are TOTALLY POINTLESS but nevertheless fascinating. The lounge chairs are warmed to human body temperature. There's a pool with chairs in them that let you lie down while massaging jets shoot at your back. The resting room is wonderfully large, dark and usually empty, and stocks fruit, nuts and mint tea. And something must be said about the amenities: free individually packaged Schick razors and shaving cream are much appreciated. ★★★★★

Treat Me! Anyway, I promise you it was still a few minutes before the treatment time, but as I was exiting the steam room, the therapist found me, with an air of franticness, and ushered me into the treatment room. I mean actual speed walking. Then speed disrobing. Ugh. It was a sign of what was to come. I've had a great aromatherapy massage here, but this time it sucked. You know how the therapist is supposed to be reeeally quiet, and every transition of movement and placement is supposed to have a kind of gradualness to it? Hands are to be on the body at all times so as to be less alarming for the customer when they move to a different spot. This wasn't how it was at all. Her hands were just haphazardly flopping here and there while she moved. She was making a lot of noise walking around, clearing her throat, pumping the oil from a bottle. Seriously, it was the opposite of peaceful. The massage itself was terrible. It felt amateurish. Every time she finished a section, the last few presses felt kind of rushed like she was getting it over with. It ended with the Mandarin Oriental signature bell ring (which felt totally pointless in this case), where they chime this bell that kind of reverberates like crazy and is oddly soothing. ★☆☆☆☆

By the time I left, around 10PM, after lounging here and there, drinking all their tea, eating an apple and playing with the scented showers, the spa was much emptied out. I should have complained about the treatment but felt like there weren't really obvious things to articulate, so I let it pass. I'm just going to check that I don't get this therapist next time. I must say that I've had much better experiences here, but on weekdays. I still highly recommend this spa during off-peak times.

The Mira - MiraSpa - Elemental Harmony Facial ★★★★☆

The Spur: I'd been seeing this sexy, smart asshole. OK sort of not really maybe. You know those situations where you really like to talk about books and watch movies together naked, but don't call yourself boyfriend-girlfriend, and never speak of exclusivity, and are jealous to imagine the other person might be dating someone else, but never say it out loud, and just swallow the reality of your insecure relationship? Yeah. You know how a sexy smart cocky older man might be throwing attention and affection at you, then suddenly takes it all away? Like saying the darn sweetest things for a month, then doesn't call/text/email for two weeks straight? Then sweet talks you back into his apartment? And radio silence for another two weeks? Then kicks you out of his apartment at 2AM last night and wouldn't tell you why? Yeah.

The Sticker: I had previously visited this slightly out-of-the-way spa because they were doing a really good promotion: get a 90 massage, get a body scrub free - OR - get a facial and get a 30-minute shoulder-head-neck massage free. I chose the 75-minute Elemental Harmony facial ($820), which, if you do the promo math, is quite a steal as far as hotel spa treatments are concerned, at $820 for 105 minutes (no 10% service charge here). I'm a sucka for bargains, and this was definitely the best spa bargain in town for the spa's grand opening. The facial calls itself "tailor made," and the brochure says it includes aromatic hot compresses, peels, head/shoulder massage and foot massage. Without the promotion, the price is on par with other fancy hotel spas.

The Service: The funny thing is, the promo excludes weekends, but when I booked it for a Saturday, the receptionist let me use the promo (add 30-minute massage for free). The second time I booked, also for a Saturday, the same receptionist said no to promo on Saturdays. Oh well, she probably messed up the first time. (By the way the promo ends March 31, so still a few more days.) But I must say, everyone here is amazingly friendly, zen and knowledgeable. ★★★★☆

The Atmo: The first time I stepped in, it was a Saturday late afternoon in late February, and the changing and hydrotherapy areas were completely empty, but I did see a few people trickle in later. The soft opening was November 2009, I believe, and I wasn't surprised about the lack of business. And frankly most people don't think of bustling, skeevy TST (sorry) as the place to get a high-end hotel spa treatment. But then when I went in again in late March, in the afternoon, it was still completely empty, which is REALLY NICE. I was loving the quiet (while the hotel probably doesn't much appreciate it). But when I was leaving, there were quite a few people in there, including a party of girls who were there for manicures and frolicking in the pool with digital cameras (er?). But overall, I love that this spa has a slightly hidden-secret quality about it. It's even on the B3 floor, three floors below ground. Feels a little Bruce Wayne/Men in Black/Resident Evil... in secretness only though, not at all in creepiness. ★★★★☆

The Goods: The best thing about newish hotels is everything is modern and beautiful in design, and this spa is no different. While it's not as "grand" as, say, the Four Seasons spa, MiraSpa really has all one really needs. It's got the steam room, sauna, a jacuzzi-type pool, pristine toilets, showers with weird functions, rolled-up towels everywhere, and - the most memorable thing - water beds in the waiting/resting area. The rest of the well-being facilities look great from what I could see. The reception area has plush couches, an actual food and beverage bar with servers (the ginger-honey tea is yums), a gorgeous indoor pool, and a nail bar which is detached from the spa. But the main difference between MiraSpa's facilities and other big-name hotels' is size. Everything is just a bit smaller in scale, such as only having three beds in the waiting room, quite a small sauna, even the changing area is rather cramped. Also, you don't have the mysterious labyrinthine quality. I personally love anything modern and don't like things too stodgy/stuffy or over-the-top, so this works for me. ★★★★☆

Treat Me! The facial = love. It starts with a foot bubble bath, then on to the treatment. When you first register at reception, you get to choose from an absurd number of serene music selections (I really don't remember what they are, but something like Asian music, classical, chimes, etc.) which is bound to lead to indecision stress, which is no good for relaxation, so I just went with the one called "typical spa music" I think LOL. The lovely therapist (Joanna) cleansed the skin first, then assessed it under a light to determine what kind of facial I need. She then went through the procedure and types of products she was going to use, which all seemed like sound judgment. The warm compresses on the face and shoulders stood out as something slightly different from most facials. The extractions (cleaning the pores per squeezing) were completely painless, which always makes me question effectiveness. The peel was tingly. The massage was very professional, none of this half-assed-ness that one sometimes finds during facials. A massage is a massage, even during a facial! There was special focus on lymphatic drainage, and an unusual thing was she also massaged the ears. I didn't notice any visible difference to my skin afterwards, but I accept that this isn't really an immediate results-type thing. She does try to lightly sell products and treatments, but it's easy to Just Say No (Thanks) kids! ★★★★☆